Mary Ryan mainly argued that the ideal “self-made man” was not achieved through independence, but through building a network and supporting a family. Ryan extensively discussed how, in middle and working-class families during this time, a young man would “make himself” by becoming economically productive, starting a family, and supporting said family (p. 166). Although men were not necessarily expected to raise children, keep up with their homes, or work prestigious jobs, they were expected to work a job that paid enough to support their families' basic needs and to pass down skills, such as farming and blacksmithing, to their sons. Living situations, such as residing with parents or older family members, were frowned upon and seen as undesirable and unstable for most men. However, many young middle-class men lived at home during their early twenties to develop their sense of stability and character. Overall, Ryan argued that men became more domesticated to fulfill evolving expectations of masculinity, much of which related to building a future to support their family. (Allisya Smith)

Apart from discussions of middle-class masculinity, M. Ryan argues that maternal supervision over children had a particular goal of reproducing hegemonic social, moral, and gender norms through the cultivation of conscience. In the context of 19th-century America, the notion of conscience was associated with self-control, honesty, frugality, and other bourgeois values. In addition, M. Ryan emphasizes that conscience helped to delineate boundaries between classes, serving as a certain institutional framework for the expression of middle-class personality. This institution was unable to fully prepare children for occupational roles, but it still constituted a powerful mechanism of socialization for middle-class families. - Nikolai Kotkov

Many native-born middle class men, rather than moving to a boarding house like their immigrant peers, remained with their families into adulthood as they attempted to further their careers. This was often in part to due the emphasis on education; young men would pursue further education while living in their parents house. However, there were some men who lived with their parents years after they started working. Ages of marriage also became delayed, with many man marrying close to the age of 30. The expectations for a husband and father were often economic; if a man couldn't afford to support a wife and children as the sole breadwinner then having a family might have to be postponed until he could.(Cameron Spivy)